Pictures from Ben's Birthday

All is well here. People have been demanding more pictures so here they are. Diane deserves credit for bringing in the compact flash cards that we forgot to take with us on mad rush out of the house Monday morning. Thanks to her, our fancy camera was able to earn some of its keep.

Benjamin Maurits John born March 7th, 2011

Last night, just after Sunday the 6th became Monday the 7th, Caroline wrote a blog entry celebrating Anneke's birth three years ago. I suspect shortly after hitting "Post," she came upstairs and told me that she just started having honest contractions. Two hours later we called for backup from Diane who came to stay with Anneke. I gathered our bags and packed the car while Caroline labored in bed and in the bath, tracking contractions on her iPhone (yes, of course there is an app for that). As we pulled up to the hospital Caroline declared "There is no shame in an epidural!" I agreed. Alas, there was no time such niceties. The first exam from the resident OB determined the head was in the birth canal. Fifteen minutes and three pushes later our new son was born, within three hours of Anneke's exact three year birth date and time. Our family's future of sharing one birthday between two children looms ahead of us.

I am so proud of Caroline and my new son. Anneke's first words to her new baby brother were "Hi Ben!" Our happy family has grown by one, and it is just now starting to feel less surreal. I look forward to being home as a family again.

-Dad

THREE!

Three years old! I am not satisfied with this portrait session at. all. No matter how fancy your camera is, using it takes practice--in fact, the fancier your camera is, the more practice you need. This was a hastily composed session indeed. But the subject is utter perfection, if you ask me.

One thing I love about Anneke is that she's not a performer--very different from her mommy. All the ways she is different from me are reminders of what a unique little person she is.

Today was the first time Anneke got upset and exclaimed tearfully, "leave me alone!" It was so hard not to go to her, but Dave stopped me and said, just let her be--I remember feeling that way, too. I also love the ways she's like her dad.

I love all the things she is and is becoming. Happy birthday, Anneke Grace.

Thirty-nine weeks!

The nursery!

Here is baby boy's room, or part of it--it's a huge bedroom. The windows need curtains or valances, and the walls are a bit bare (save for the awesome alphabet decals from Etsy, painstakingly applied by Dave). The dresser was Dave's parents' dresser, then it was Dave's bachelor dresser. It used to be black and white. It was such a groovy piece of furniture we decided to store it in the basement until we could come up with a clever use for it. As you see, now we have.

I am nothing but a design amateur, but one thing I have learned is how much it helps to photograph a room to get a feel for how it really looks. Now I know that corner is too cluttered--you know the one I'm talking about. It's hard to see the big picture until you actually take it!

Then and Now

On the eve of Anneke's 3rd Birthday: Then, and Now:

Then

Now

Then

Now

State of the Mother and Child

Update before Anneke's THIRD Birthday, and this one will probably be more about me. Lest you think my daughter is already getting her Comparative Religions groove on, I'll first clarify that this was Anneke's pretend birthday celebration she threw for herself while I was getting dressed. We sang happy birthday and blew out candles, and it was the icing on the cake to a deliciously slow morning where we stayed in our jammies and played on the floor a lot.

And Anneke is very conscious of her birthday coming up. In fact, she was a bit jealous when I celebrated my own birthday on Friday, and I had to assure her many times that her's is right around the corner. I only hope I'm not in labor and delivery that day! In the long run, if I am, life will go on, but I just hate for her first birthday that she's really aware of to be overshadowed.

So far, I don't just hate how things will change with two kids--I think it's too hard to imagine. I thought by now I would have gone through a period of feeling sad about how it's not going to be just the three of us, or, indeed, two of us since that little girl and I spend so many days together. I haven't, though, but have felt the need to savor this time we have left, just like I did with Dave before Anneke was born.

Speaking of which, I went downstairs the other day, and Dave had put in the DVD of our diving trip in Thailand for Anneke to watch, and it was one of a few times I felt nostalgic for those carefree days--videos of diving in a tropical paradise will do that, I guess. But there's nothing at all like being a family together. It's not always as fun as a liveaboard dive trip, but it's infinitely more precious.

Anyway, this afternoon: good thing we had such a sweet morning, because this afternoon was a storm of tired, about-to-pop mommy and tired, not-quite-done-with-her-afternoon-nap little girl. Basically, Anneke and I got into a Big Fight. No, I didn't lose my temper, and no, I did not spank or otherwise use any physical punishment. No lasting damage was done, but I escalated a power struggle and she came at me with her little hands, looking both shocked and furious when she did manage to hit me in the face! I made her stay in her room, and she wailed and wailed until she crashed, exhausted, in her new big-girl chair. I felt terrible, knowing part of the reason I was handling things this way was because I needed a break, physically and mentally, and would mismanage her exhaustion if that was what it would take to get it.

I know how much worse it could be and how much worse parent-child conflicts get because of what I do for a living. I listen to wonderful, loving parents beat themselves up all the time and spend a lot of time pointing out all the things they're doing well. But now I understand that nothing changes the fact that it feels really bad to play a part in exacerbating your child's meltdown, even if you didn't mean to, and even if it just makes you a human being and not Super Mom. I even believe that messing up as a parent--within limits--can help kids be more resilient, and I know that my relationship with Anneke is good. But I sure felt terrible when I peeked into her room today and saw her crashed out on her chair, knowing she wailed herself to sleep.

I guess I know a big change is coming up for all of us, and especially for her. Maybe in place of feeling sad I just deeply desire for these last few days of Anneke being two to be sweet, as sweet as these past three years have been.