The Longest Night

What a banner evening: the Winter Solstice, the first night of Hannukah, and meanwhile (for we Christians) Advent marches on....

Advent is the season of preparation for observing Jesus's birth--at least I think that's the theological definition. Last year Advent had special meaning for me because I was preparing for the birth of my own child. And this Advent season she's here. This year I joined my church choir in rehearsals for our Lessons and Carols Service (it got snowed out). As usual, we worked on a number of lullabies. It's not hard for lullabies to tear at the proverbial heartstrings, but this year they have new meaning for me. I know what's in a lullaby, and it's not all sweetness and light. It's also fierce and tender, passionate and pleading (for the baby to go to sleep!), sad and fearful (that my baby will grow up and away, that hard things will happen to her). In short, this year I have a whole new perspective on the Nativity--that of a mother. No matter what you believe about Jesus, at one point he was just a baby, and his mother had no idea what he was headed for. This Advent season has reminded me of the opportunity I have every day to be present with Anneke and soak up our time together.

And, this afternoon, right before it got dark I was skiing around our neighborhood in the snow when I met on of my neighbors who said he wished he was out skiing, but was recovering from knee surgery. We got to talking and realized we lived down the street from one another. He said he and his son were stranded in town because of flight cancellations, and that his wife and his son's mother died the day after Christmas last year. All of his son's Christmas presents are back East, so he was walking to the store to scramble for something for his son to open on Christmas morning. He told me this in a sad-but-what-can-you-do way--it was hard not to be cheerful in the winter wonderland that was our neighborhood today, and he didn't seem like the kind of guy to unload on random strangers skiing down the sidewalk. We said our goodbyes, and then he started jogging way, stopping to scoop up a snowball and throw it at someone down the block.

This evening we listened to the Paul Winter Solstice concert on OPB--definitely a highlight of the season. I lit a bunch of candles for people I know--including my neighbor--whose holiday season is not all sweetness and light this year. And this year that list is longer than in past years. Not sure what the point of this post is, except that, for me, things are darker and richer this year. I'm so glad for family and community amidst the darkness in life, and more aware than ever of just how important they are.

Another Snow Day

Once again we torture our baby by making her come out to play with us in the snow.

(New Video!)

Snow Day!

Not quite ready for snow angels

Hounded by the paparazzi

Must...get...to...swings!

Chapped baby!

Sunday morning we woke to a winter wonderland! A blustery, blizzardy winter wonderland, but that didn't stop us from taking Anneke out for her first snow. Usually I love to get out the cross country skis and cruise around the neighborhood, but it was too nasty and icy for that. At one point I was ready to go inside, and I think Anneke was, too, but Dave looked so sad and said, "but it's my only snow day!" So we braved the weather for a bit longer. Anneke's lucky to have such a playful dad! The next day we took her out again for a walk to the grocery store, and look what happened to her poor little face! My sister said to use Eucerin on her chapped little cheeks--she's a pro at this since she lives in the midwest.

Christmas trees!

A couple of weeks ago we joined Dave's side of the family and their old friends, the Johnsons, at the Christmas tree farm! When Dave was growing up his family and the Johnsons celebrated Christmas together since their own extended families were back in the U.K. Meeting up with them to cut Christmas trees is an annual tradition, one I was invited to join when Dave and I first started dating. We all head over to Cornelius Pass Roadhouse afterwards for lunch. Notice Anneke and her cousin. I fear this is just the beginning of a bunch of shenanigans.

Now I know how Joan of Arc felt.

Ha ha! (Incidentally, technical difficulties prevent me from posting the Christmas tree photos--more on that later). Emily, this is especially pertinent to your life with a very dramatic four-year-old.

I can't tell you how many times The Smiths helped me through particularly absurd days in social services.

Santa

Tick off another "must do" for Anneke's first year.

Special thanks goes to Mary who pointed out not only that the Macy's line for Santa is very short during the weekdays, but that the crying baby with Santa pictures are often more interesting than the posed ones that we so often try for.

We were able to have two photo sessions in order to get this picture, and of all of the pics where our little girl was bawling her head off, we chose this one for the wonderful look of displeasure she gave the camera. Zoom in to see it better.

Family shelter

Crikey. I am a social worker, and I still end up surprised when I read stuff like this--I'm still naive about family poverty and homelessness in my community. I guess it might be in part because I have always worked with families who, although they definitely were living below the poverty level, still had some kind of home or shelter, whether it was a Section 8 apartment or a relative's couch. I'm embarrassed to say it's hard for me to believe there are families living in their cars, but here you go.

Well, to quote 80s GI Joe: "Knowing is half the battle." See, all that after school TV made me a better person.

Emergency shelters

MULTNOMAH COUNTY

Warming Center for Families: 1435 N.E. 81st Ave., Portland, 503-253-0148
To donate: The center needs pillows, blankets, sheets and pillow cases. Drop them off at the center or at Human Solutions, 12350 S.E. Powell Blvd., or at these three Key Bank branches -- Gateway branch, 1205 N.E. 102nd Ave.; Lloyd Center branch, 825 N.E. Multnomah St., Suite 175; Gresham Mall branch, 390 W. Burnside St., Gresham. Drop off food (snacks that require no preparation such as fruit, nutrition bars and juice boxes), dishes, eating utensils, paper towels and cleaning supplies at the warming center or Human Solutions.
Volunteers: The center needs people to staff it. To help, go to
www.humansolutions.org
or call Becky Mullins at 503-256-2280.
For other shelters: Call 2-1-1

Our Little Deer is Nine Months Old!

And it's a Festivus miracle that I was able to take these photos, between the tricky lighting and the ever-so-curious baby.

This photo was attempt no. 238....

How do you baby-proof a Christmas tree?

Ready for my close-up, Mommy!

And here's my daughter next to the most worrisome non-lethal baby hazard of them all.

Public Service Announcement

Sigh.
My friends over at The Lorpi Files have a friend whose baby is in the hospital after having swallowed a button battery (about the size of a nickel) that leaked acid into her esophagus for days. That's the short version of the story--where's the emoticon for "absolutely horrified"?

While her situation is extreme and a perfect storm of somewhat-rare-occurence and apparent incompetence at the ER, I learned that battery-swallowing is on the rise because of all of our gadgets, plus because of musical greeting cards (don't send those to friends with rugrats).

It sounds like baby Hazel is through the worst of it but not "out of the woods," so I will be praying for her and her family and invite y'all to think good thoughts/send loving-kindness/light a candle/say a prayer--whatever you tend to do in situations like this.

And I'm going to be roaming the house with a roll of duct tape, hunting for little gadgets.

Goodbye, Miss Know-it-All

The above photo is a naked re-enactment of the look Anneke gave me today after I sternly told her "no!" when she tried to chew the computer wires. And I realized I'm in BIG trouble. She knows what "no" means, but my behavior management skills are no match for her cuteness! Is it possible to set appropriate limits and smother a child with kisses at the same time?

I have a lot of past clients who would probably be all, yeah, now where's your Love and Logic?

Thanksgiving and special bonus features

Anneke's first Thanksgiving was lovely. The only thing missing were publishable photos of the event--I will save them for family viewing only, as we are all pretty much sacked out unattractively on comfortable furniture apres delicious meal. I really wish we had taken one or two family shots around the table, but that would have involved timers and maybe even a tripod. Next time I'll go to the trouble now that I have realized it would have been worth it. Said meal was at Grandma and Grandpa's house with Uncle Kevin, Aunt Stephanie, and Claire. I can't tell you how grateful I am not only to have my inlaws in town, but that I married into a truly, truly wonderful family. The above photo is Anneke and Ms. E. in their Thanksgiving best. This dress will probably get a lot of wear between now and Christmas because I absolutely love it. We got to stop by Ms. E's house to have hors d'oeuvres and champagne cocktails before heading over to G&G's.

Anyway, I'm making up for lack of Thanksgiving photos by including bonus baby photos. Aren't you thankful?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, just for the record, here's what I have to say about the Thanksgiving meal:

1. All y'all that go on about finding fancy, healthy alternatives to green bean casserole can kiss my grits. That includes you, Mollie Katzen, and your seared green beans. Yes, they sound delicious. I will probably make them sometime. I will admit to going highbrow by making from-scratch cream-of-mushroom soup and using fresh green beans. And maybe even chanterelle mushrooms. But give me a pan of the Campbell's soup special and I'll all but stick my face right in it. This is not the time of year to get all uppity about side dishes.
   
2. Dressing. Sigh. And with apologies to my dad for what I am about to say: My Mamo makes the absolute best cornbread dressing. Every year I try to replicate it. A couple of years ago I actually cross-referenced about ten dressing recipes, from sources as varied as The Joy of Cooking to The Cotton Country Collection (a Junior League classic!) and drew out a grid of the ingredients. And you know what? Dressing is just not that complicated. Last night I called Mamo, and of course she does not really use a recipe. She walked me through it, and it totally made sense and sounded easy. Tonight I tried once again, mixing the ingredients and cooking up little balls of it in the skillet to taste it. The batch I finally settled on isn't bad, but it lacks the unctuous chickeny-ness that Mamo's always has. The closest I came was when I made up a batch and then cooked whole, bone-in chicken pieces on top--chicken fat makes everything better. But Mamo does not have to resort to these tactics. It's still a mystery...maybe the missing ingredient is a lifetime of cooking three meals a day with whatever is in the fridge and cupboard. I'm just glad I still have her to call, even if she usually says, "oh, well, you just put it on the stove and add a little of this and a little of that and cook it till it's done."
3. Dave is making pecan pie. We'll see if it's any match for my Aunt Brenda's. The pecans are from her yard in Texarkana.
   

P.S. Daddy, you make the very best chicken fried steak.

Baptism

"Sacraments...make something that is already true and available real for us so that we might fully benefit from it." This is from the booklet "Holy Baptism: A Guide for Parents and Godparents," which we received in our pre-baptism meeting. And so yesterday morning we affirmed that Anneke is God's own. Of course, it was lovely--my church really makes a big deal out of baptisms. The children come up from downstairs and sit around the font, VIP style. Anneke was stripped nekkid and plopped into the font. She settled right in like it was bathtime, splashing all over Rev. Joan's Bible and lapping that holy water right up! We were all laughing, and that was my favorite part--that such a sacred occasion was marked by laughter.

The anthem during the service was a choral arrangement of the gospel/bluegrass song "Calling my Children Home" by Doyle Lawson and Charles Waller. It's haunting and sad, about missing your children who are far away. I really missed my parents yesterday, and, as with most things in life these days, a song like that has new meaning for me now that I am a parent.

But Dave's parents were there in the second pew, as well as some of our good friends. Anneke has her Mormon Godmother, Auntie Emily, and her Jewish Godmother, Diane. Both of these women are going to be there for her and will honor and support Anneke in her faith. They will also be there when she is a sulky teenager or when I am being a worrywart mom. And Anneke has a parish sponsor, Peggy, who will be a special person for her at church. I got to know Peggy when I was on the Vestry, and then she did the flowers at our wedding as well as Diane and Matt's. She reached out to me when Dave was recovering from his accident and left lovely presents for Anneke and me on our porch one day last spring.

These folks and a few friends came over for brunch afterwards. We were all wiped out by the time everyone left! But it was a perfect celebration, and everyone who came is someone I hope will know Anneke throughout her life.

One thing missing were in-focus photos. It was just too much to fiddle with camera settings with everything else. But not to worry! We'll upload a video soon. And I think Ms. A got some good shots of Anneke in her christening gown.

Peek-a-boo

We have been made aware that Anneke's cousin, Juliette, new favorite pastime to watch videos of Anneke. With that in mind we documented the latest cute development in our child's life. Her little brain has developed enough to understand at least a few key words and she has to motor skills necessary to mimic us playing the classic "Peek-a-boo" game.

Needless to say, when she did this spontaneously for me while I was on baby duty in the basement on Wednesday the 19th, my heart melted.



Special thanks to Ken who lent me his fancy new HD camera for the weekend.

Singing and other mischef

The video stands on its own.

Fancy!

A friend of ours is visiting from New York City. The first thing I noticed was her new purse. She explained that she is a member of Bag, Borrow, or Steal. All of a sudden I feel like I'm in a Sex in the City Episode! Anneke, don't get any ideas--this purse is Just Visiting.

Fair warning

There's been a lot of talk lately about killer raccoons in these parts, but not nearly enough attention has gone to this issue. Emma and Anna-Lisa, this may be the most important thing you read today.

Eight months!

Two and a half more teeth than she had before! And didn't I say she'd be sitting up for her eight month photos?

With her good buddy, Barack Obama (long story. I can't actually remember why her glow worm has that name. but it's her absolute favorite toy. Thanks, Aunt Stephanie!)

My little bibliophile....

Our beautiful, happy baby.

Anneke Grace, you have transformed our lives in a most magnificent way. We love watching you grow.

Crawling

After 1.5 hours of fighting with Adobe Premiere Elements 7, we have this video proof of the arrival of the dreaded crawling stage of our beloved child's development.



My quick review of Premiere Elements 7:

• It's so slow that it is barely usable on my system that is only a couple of years old.
  
• I definitely know my way around a computer and I have edited a few videos in my time. After at least 4 hours of reading the online-only manual, I am using the program but still don't fully grock it.
  
• Did I mention it is slow? Man.
  
• It does work and can do more than I need.
  

Beating the PNW blues

The weather is soooo crappy right now. I was thinking I need to get one of those light boxes. But no. This is all I need to keep my spirits lifted.

God is not a Republican or a Democrat...

...just food for thought.

Today I found this blog entry by Sister Helen Prejean. I love her. She and Mister Rogers are my absolute heroes. I am fairly confident that we on the religious right and left, and those on the NON-religious right and left, might agree with this. I think. I don't mean to be presumptuous.

I'm treading carefully because I have lots of loved ones whose political leanings are different than mine, and I do love them.

That said, I just gotta say this: I'm disappointed that Measure One did not pass in Arkansas. I went to bed last night thinking I need to do more to support gay and lesbian rights in honor of all of my friends, colleagues, fellow parishioners, and family members who are just trying to live their lives and raise their kids and love their partners. I don't plan on using this blog as a platform for discussing this issue (okay, beyond this post?) because I know it's inflammatory, and I know some people who read this don't agree with me. But in my opinion it's also a civil rights issue.

Okay, all done. I really try to keep my mouth shut on this blog about this kind of thing, but y'all know me, and 'tis the season.

Happy Halloween!

As you can see, the pig costume turned out just fine!

Here we have the haunted family:

We went trick-or-treating with McMiller Pdx, and after little Miss Piggy was sound asleep, Dave and I settled into the man cave and gorged ourselves on popcorn and candy bars. It was easier to rebound from that kind of thing when I was ten.

Books are best friends

Today we went to the library for story time, and all I can say is, where has this been all her life? It was so much fun and 100% free--that's why I love the library. There were bubbles and songs and a big toy box. Since it was Halloween there were ballerinas and peapods and even a Santa Claus. One thing I am noticing lately about Anneke is a general reticence when she's outside her comfort zone; she needs a few minutes to check out the scene before charging in exuberantly. I think part of that might just be a stage, but knowing her dad and knowing me, it sounds like she's definitely a cross between the two of us. Apologies to Ms. A for the painfully obvious genetics lesson.
This post is dedicated to my mom--I want to make sure she knows we go to story time!

More cute baby pictures, as promised

Tagged again

Okay, after this post it's going to be less opining and more cute baby-ness, I promise. And no, this is not a political post. I have been SO tempted lately, but decided to refrain. Okay, yes it is: one thing: thanks, Laura, for informing we ex-pats about Act One in Arkansas. Sheesh. I'm a social worker, and that's an obscenely bad piece of legislation that will HURT CHILDREN. So there.

Anyway, what I meant to say was: here are seven things my parents did that I want to pass down to Anneke and her future sibling.
1. Supper time: we always sat down to dinner, every night. Sometimes we were all mad at each other, but there we were, around the table. When I remember day-to-day family life, this is one of the first images that comes to mind. And no eating in front of the TV. One thing Dave maintains with us is no fighting at the dinner table. So if there is an issue we are working through we don't work on it over Gill's curry.
2. Church: We went to church almost every Sunday, and to Family Night Supper once a month, and to Bible School in the summer. We Presbyterians were not a preachy lot, and Love God/Love your neighbor was not a preachy affair. This kind of quiet example is what brought me back to the faith. I want Anneke to have a church family, and for the love in that community to lead her to pay it forward, as it were.
3. Boundaries: my parents did a good job of keeping us away from grownup business. When hard things happened--job losses, illness, money problems--as the oldest I knew what was going on, but I didn't know EVERYTHING. As an adult I can look back and realize, "oh, THAT's what was happening" and even "oh, it was THAT bad," but as a kid I was protected from that knowledge. When I entered adulthood I had what I think was a healthy naivete about a lot of grownup stuff. I don't feel naive about much anymore, but I learned hard lessons when I was old enough to handle them.
4. Reading: every day I saw my dad reading the paper, and book shelves were a prominent feature in the den. My mother used to read to me from "One Hundred and One Famous Poems," and when I was seven she started bringing me these orange-cloth-covered biographies with titles like "Clara Barton, Girl Nurse." I don't know how much of a reader Anneke will be--I'm voracious; Dave, not so much. I won't force it on her, but she'll have plenty of opportunities for curling up with a good book.
5. Music: When I was four my dad introduced me to The Beatles, and mom and a friend started a children's choir at church around the same time. We all did our stint in piano lessons and band. I want music to be a source of discovery and pleasure for Anneke. No matter what kind of voice she has, I want her to sing her heart out and know how good that feels. Dave is excited about taking piano lessons alongside her; I can't wait for that.
6. Back to boundaries: there were SO MANY shows we weren't allowed to watch. And I was not allowed to date until I was sixteen. SO LAME. Except Dave and I are going to be just as mean. Maybe meaner.
7. Trips: some family vacations were fancier than others, but we got along so famously when we got on the road. That's what I remember more than anything. Dave and I both have grouchy streaks a mile wide, but we are great travel companions. I try to rein in the grouchiness as much as I can, but sometimes you just need to get out and about and be together outside the proverbial daily grind.

Whew. where did I get my long-windedness? Thanks, Mom and Daddy. I tag all you other blogging mommies!

Bad mother

Question to the more seasoned mothers out there: am I going to deeply regret not getting Anneke a Halloween costume she'll wear for maybe an hour? I already bought a little Halloween onesie. I am too cheap to buy anything else. There is a timeshare piglet costume Ms. E and Anneke are going to trade off wearing for photos before they go to bed.

Is this so wrong?

Petting zoo

We went to the pumpkin patch this weekend! This patch itself was fairly lame. In fact, it was FAKE: just pumpkins scattered around a yard. But the menagerie of random wild animals definitely made up for it. Among other creatures we saw a lion, a tiger, a wallaby, and a porcupine. Apparently they were all rescued from different places. The petting zoo was absolute chaos--all manner of baby and adult ruminants straining against the bars to get to the baby and adult humans holding cups of food. Anneke LOVED it. Her favorite animal was the donkey; she completely cracked up at the sight of him.