Comfort

"Comfort, comfort ye My people,
Speak ye peace, thus saith our God;
Comfort those who sit in darkness,
Mourning 'neath their sorrow's load;
Speak ye to Jerusalem
Of the peace that waits for them;
Tell her that her sins I cover,
And her warfare now is over."

This is my third Advent post, and I have to laugh at myself as I realize how weepy and morose I become in the weeks leading up to Christmas. I laugh, and I feel right about it. I think every year I cite some sad story or another, either that of someone I know or read about in the news, so I'll skip those details. I think I go on for several paragraphs, too, so I'll try to skip that, as well.

I'll just say that the words above are the first verse of the hymn that has been running through my head, that I hum while I wash the dishes, that sent me slipping out of Lessons and Carols rehearsal to regain my composure, lest I look like a hormonal soprano drama queen. Singing these words brings to my mind and heart the people I know are "mourning 'neath their sorrow's load" right now: I feel sad and afraid for them and yearn for their comfort.

I think Advent (for me) is a dark time where I learn and remember why in the world people yearn for a savior in the first place. This year, in a time when I find comfort at every turn in my own life, I feel called to share it more than I have been so far amidst choir rehearsals, shopping, tree-trimming, and cookie-baking. There's one week left to prepare for Christmas; I hope I'm ready.

Our little Christmas cookie

Monthly update, and I'll make it quick. I love who Anneke is and what she's becoming. She is sweet, funny, and intelligent. I love how she loves what Dave and I love (so far)--books, music, the moon, numbers, cooking. She is a little shy and cautious--not super slow to warm up, but she needs her time to check out the scene from my lap, or from behind my legs, and that's just fine. I think she gets this from her dad, and I want to honor this about her even as I gently encourage her to see what might be outside her comfort zone. This photo was taken right after she visited Santa; I'll post the pictures later. She had resolved on her own she was not going to be shy this year and dutifully sat on his lap, because she had decided Santa was, after all, her friend, and he's the guy whose gonna bring her a Pillow Pet. The look on her face as she talked to Santa was serious, and it was clear she was not sure about the situation. But it was something she had decided to do, and she did it.

Christmas crafty

I'm definitely not one of those crafty hausfraus. Well, maybe I am...no, I'm not. In any sense of the word. But what's a girl to do when she gets hold of not only "Southern Living Christmas" but the 12/10 issue of "Martha Stewart Living"? She's gotta get busy on sloppy approximations of embroidery-hoop card wreaths and spray-painted seashells, that's what!

This is all Dave's handiwork, and completely from scratch. True, I was the creative consultant--it would have been a very utilitarian gingerbread house without my suggestion to adorn it with gumdrops, candy canes, and to mark it with a "B," very much like our own home.

"Southern Living" had step-by-step instructions on how to make a magnolia wreath, while "Sunset" had instructions on making a bay laurel wreath. This is my version and what I'm using for our advent wreath. I, uh, wouldn't be inspired to purchase this in a store and probably would have done a better job back in 4th grade, but process over product is what I always say. When it comes to making wreaths. For you liturgical-year color sticklers (and I know you are legion among my readers), I just couldn't find either royal blue candles or the purple/pink ones. But the interwebs assures me that it's perfectly respectable among Protestants to just use red. Please don't tell the altar guild.

Here is Martha Stewart's embroidery hoop card wreath, and I think it turned out just fine.

This was inspired by S.L. and M.S.L., a la a tree festooned with seashells and adorable little seashell candle-holders spray-painted gold and silver. I got out the ol' glue gun and affixed red satin ribbon and hung them on the tree. Here they are before they got the ribbon treatment.

I'm grateful...

...for more than I can list in this blog. But today it was for the slow, meandering pace of a toddler during a hike in Forest Park, which involved many interludes of puddle-splashing and throwing of leaves into the stream. We burned very few calories, but we saw lots of tiny mushrooms on a log, which I never would have seen without her guiding me.

Lovely Sunday part 2: turkey in the snow

And speaking of cliches, after our walk we left our smug, environmentally correct neighborhood in our Subaru to head out to Terra Farma in the Columbia River Gorge to pick up some raw goat milk and our very pricey, but very humanely raised, Thanksgiving turkey. And there was bonus free apple cider we got to press ourselves! Or, rather, Dave got to press it. As you can see, it snowed!

I woke Anneke up from a dead sleep so she wouldn't miss the fun. She never would have forgiven us for letting her sleep through this.

I've wanted to try this place since I moved here. My nieces' grandparents Bud and Gladys told me about it when they were in town for a visit eleven years ago. It's right on the Sandy River in Corbett. It was a lot fancier than I expected. I wouldn't make a special trip out there, but if you do pass by it, it's a really nice place to stop for cozy comfort food. I believe those in the know refer to it as "Chic-Dump" because that's the part of the sign that lights up.

Lovely Sunday part 1: love/eyeroll

Today was lovely, and started with a walk through the neighborhood. I love our neighborhood even as I roll my eyes from the effect of hippy-dippy overload. Could we get more cliche with our backyard chickens (which lead to backyard raccoons and rats, I might add), "edible landscaping" and nearby environmental school? And yet...it's all very nice, and makes for interesting walks. In the end, the eye-rolling is affectionate, and of course I appreciate the values reflected in all of these sometimes faddish, sometimes even sanctimonious displays. To say there are worse ways to use one's yard space is quite an understatement--like, say, putting in a pool.

Interesting detritus and yard-art:

The Sunnyside Environmental School chicken coop, which Anneke and I love to visit.

I love unkempt gardens in autumn.

This actually won't be Anneke's elementary school, but wouldn't you feel good about your kid wandering around this school yard every day? Each grade has its own little garden.

November update

What's life like for Anneke these days, and what is she up to?

Well, first the good:

She's very excited about the baby. She pats my stomach and says, "oh, baby, I love you," and we talk a lot about what we'll do with the baby when he comes. I anticipate a wee bit more ambivalence when he finally does come, but it's so fun to share this time with her.

Her imagination has gone through a growth spurt! Every moment is a new opportunity for pretend play: today she had a fork and a wooden spoon, and she told me she was playing violin. She crawls around the house pretending to be a kitty. She sings a lot, and often makes up songs, or puts new words to a familiar melody. Sometimes she goes off on verbal riffs which make no sense (to us) and remind me of scat singing or, if you're a total dork, of The Hybrid.

She just got her first haircut today! It took all of five minutes, and was a spur-of-the moment offer when I brought her in with me to my stylist to get a bang trim. I was so proud of Anneke--she sat very still through the whole thing. Actually, all morning she was a trouper coming along on errands, and she went a good 2-3 hours with no accidents. I gave her a big hug and kiss for being such a big girl when we got home.

She's still so sweet and snuggly, which I wouldn't expect to have suddenly changed, but these days I'm soaking it in more while I still have a lap and only one child to care for.

Then, there's the Bad:

Fears: as what I believe is just a corollary to her growing imagination, she gets scared much more easily. There was the battle of the Fluff, where for about two weeks she was terrified of...lint. The other day I innocently and excitedly said, "look, Anneke, there's a spider on the floor!" and she FREAKED out.

I really don't think these fears are "bad," but it's something to work through and sometimes hard for me to know when to just ride it out and when to push her a bit to get past it. I'm probably over-reacting since I work with kids with anxiety disorders--I need to remember these are most likely just part of her development, and the last thing I need to do is add to the drama by getting worked up over it myself.

and the Ugly:

Hand-foot-mouth disease! enough said. Plus, I caught a cold that bore too close a resemblance to the galloping consumption, and poor Dave came down with a stomach bug. All par for the course, but definitely ugly!

Bad hair day

Hmmm. Maybe she actually does have enough hair to start thinking about getting it cut.

Happy Halloween 2010!

Halloween gets to be more and more fun as the years go on. This year we started in Tigard, where Anneke got to trick-or-treat with cousin Claire and get lots of candy from Grandma. We also got to see new nephew/cousin, Connor, who is a little more than a month old. Wait, I think he's two months old! He is precious, at any rate.

Our first stop in our neighborhood was next door, home of Anneke's (hopefully) future babysitter (age 11) who seems to emit rays of golden light to the neighborhood children, who are mesmerized by her presence. Said golden child and her brother are old enough to have their own fun plans for Halloween, and their mom was home handing out candy and looking a little wistful. I took to heart her admonishment to enjoy this while it lasts.

And, what turns out to be the annual photo in front of the Bleck-o-lantern. Check out archives from 2008 & 2009. BTW, this was a flapper costume from the Gymboree outlet, but Anneke will tell you she was a beautiful princess.

Next year her little brother will be dressed as Meatwad. We're not missing out on that opportunity this time.

BOY!

Today we learned that our next child will be a boy. There was much rejoicing (at least from half of the expecting parents).

We also learned that if you set up an ultra sound machine to do sweep of its image finding beam across a space, you can have a computer translate the multiple 2D snapshots picked up by the ultrasound into a 3D surface map. Then simply apply a phong shading to create a view into the uterus, thereby creating a somewhat creepy first picture of your unborn child.

Some, would I expect, prefer to wait for the baby to be born to see the first picture of the child. For that reason I shall not embed an image here. For those of you who want a glimpse of he about whose name has yet to be argued I share this link, appropriately of him picking his nose.

--The proud dad to be

The old gang V 2.0

Oh boy oh boy! This weekend our dear friends, the McMillers, came up to visit us in the Bay Area and even stayed at our house. We had to get everyone together, just like back in the day. I'd say this get-together was a lot like parties from ten years ago:

Pre func: Eagerly waiting for our friends to show up

Midway through, wandering around the party in various stages of undress

Finally: everyone winds up in the hot tub.

Accessorized

Ahem, there was a mishap with our very, very fancy lens, and it's in the shop for repairs. It may be in ICU. So I thought I'd see how the old zoom lens does on our new-ish camera, and how I'm doing now that I'm getting the hang of shooting in manual mode. As you may be able to see, I'm too busy fiddling with the settings to master composition, but little missy was still being pretty cute. She's waaaay into dress-up these days. We forgot to bring a "beautiful skirt" to the beach with us last weekend, so she walked around with a pair of pajama pants tied around her head and a baby blanket around her waist. Guess I should post those photos next.

This is Anneke getting ready to see what Zoe does when she puts her new plastic ring on her tail.

Kroner house weekend

Last weekend we made a trip to Manzanita to stay at the Kroner House, so called because it's owned by...the Kroners. Dave's family has been renting this house since he was a kid. Dave and I have spent many weekends there, and it meant so much to finally bring Anneke along. It's cozy, not fancy, right on the beach--perfect. It was a challenging weekend for photography since the sunlight was BLINDING--probably brighter than it was all summer. I spent many a photo session grappling with harsh shadows and washed-out skies. I am not complaining about this inconvenience.

This was right before Dave and our daughter turned their backs to the ocean and I started fretfully wringing my hands.

Serendipity: we ran into one of Dave's cheese buddies at the bakery in town, and I dared ask if he knew of any good spots for finding chanterelles (this is kind of like asking someone where their favorite fishing hole is). He said that, as a matter of fact, he was heading there now! We promised not to reveal the secret spot and dragged our poor child on a long, steep hike. It was kind of a chanterelle death march. As it turns out, it was late in the season and many of the mushrooms we found were shriveled and not worth picking. But I really, really don't know a better way to spend time in a damp, loamy Pacific Northwest forest.

Lest we burn too many calories, there was apple oven pancake for breakfast.

Can you see the ladybug? Because Anneke can, and she first spotted it on a brisk beach walk, from probably three feet away. She has quite the radar for airplanes and lady bugs.

There was a beach fire and smores.

There was a beautiful sunset followed by a beautiful moonlit night.
Proof of life, since most of the time I was fiddling with the camera.

State of the toddler? Preschooler?

The parenting newsletters I get refer to children Anneke's age as a preschooler, but I thought she was still a toddler. It's safe to say she vacillates, which seems quite developmentally on-target. Speaking of development, I've fallen behind on tracking hers, either in a baby book or on this blog. I think I'll live to regret that. So: new feature! Monthly updates! Next month with better photos. I've also slacked on taking pictures. This one is from the Apple-Tasting at Portland Nursery. I dressed her in the cutest outfit she would let me choose for her, but it was raining so hard it was all we could do to trudge from tent to tent sampling apples and apple products, let alone get out the camera.

Here goes:

What she loves: her crayons and her water colors, and any arts and crafts. Nightgowns and all things princess--and this is with very, very little exposure to the all things princess that little girls are bombarded with. Beautiful, sparkly skirts and dresses. her rubber duckies. dancing to "church music," otherwise known as the choral music station on Pandora (hmmm. so weird. who started her on that?). getting bread at church (communion as snack time. oh, why not? ); sitting in her rocking chair and reading books.

What she does not love, and may actually hate: oh, the usual. sharing. time-out.

New developments: lots more pretend play these days. She pretends she on an airplane, and packs her luggage into a big papier-mache vase. She pretends a whoopie cushion contains an entire princess outfit for me, and she has me select each pretend item and helps me put it on. Tonight she was pretending to be a dog. With all the babies around, including the one in mommy's tummy, and with all the new "big girl" things she's doing like using the potty and riding her tricycle, of course she loves to pretend to be a baby. And secretly I love it when she does, too. Oh, and sometimes she uses the potty. I am still fairly confused about potty training. But based on what I've heard and read, I'm trying to not to pressure her, a la T. Berry Brazelton, while offering a treat when she does use the potty. I figure at 2 1/2 she's still got some time to figure it out.

Quotable quotes: "I love you, little Mama!"; "I want to get all cozy!" (i.e., be covered up); "Mommy (0r Daddy), are you frustrated?" (asked when I am, indeed, at the height of irritation, frustration, or just plain old mad). "Hi, baby!" "Good morning, baby!" (said to mommy's tummy).

Where I'm at: Working two days a week has been an adjustment--not nearly the load of working three days a week, or full-time, I realize, but just an adjustment. I have to be more planful and intentional about our time together because there is, in fact, less of it. Yet our days together can't and don't need to be all about keeping her entertained. If I don't get up early enough and have some kind of loose plan and structure to the day, I feel like Anneke ends up being shortchanged. I haven't hit the grieving period I know will come about it not being just the three of us anymore--I went through it with Dave before Anneke was born. But I know that's also on my mind on some level when I think about making the most of our time together. I've always, always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and I still love being home with her.

Also, I do not get that child outdoors enough. We're both pretty happy being inside reading books, but there's definitely such a thing as too much of all that.

Cathedral Park Photo Shoot

It's my turn to blog about the latest Photo Club outing. I gave up on the shoot prematurely due to harsh light and feeling completely uninspired by the setting, and don't get me started on the flaws in these photos, but the subjects? Cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.

I love how these two are walking with the gaits of six-year-olds in this one.

And how Anneke looks like a pensive fifteen-year-old in this one.

And, oh! back to being two and almost three!