Into the Wild

A couple of years ago I went cross-country skiing with my friends Emma and Kathryn. It was a great day, and at the end I felt sad because I knew it would probably be a while before I could spend another day out in the snow with my girlfriends if things went according to plan family-planning wise. But today was the day I finally got my chance to hit the trails!

This time I went with Emma and Diane to Trillium Lake. Dave kept Anneke, and we loaded up on soy milk to tide her over until I got home. It was a beautiful day, and really perfect conditions--a little icy here and there, but it was one of those days where you could just kind of zip along on the groomed trail. Really nice.

Did I mention we forgot the book that had the map in it? Well, no big deal. I mean, it's a groomed, well-marked trail. The place was lousy with other people. Why not take the 7 mile loop instead of the 3.5 mile loop? What could possibly go wrong? Just follow the signs!

Well, the trail could stay marked but run out of signs, and you could miss your turn and end up slogging uphill, not really sure where you are--pretty sure you're headed in the right direction, but not sure sure. At least that's what happened with our trip. One of us was a little nervous about this; one of us was absolutely not in the least bit worried, and one of us was quietly having a nervous breakdown as she contemplated never seeing her beloved baby again. Guess which one I was?

I was amazed at the dark, dark thoughts and desperate bargaining with God that went on in my poor head. None of my coping skills helped very much--I mean, I would try to think positively but immediately fixated on the most hypothermic, baby-abandoning outcome. Then we ran into a woman who was out skiing on her own. She was looking to hook up with some other people because it was getting later and she didn't want to be on an icy hill by herself. AND SHE HAD A MAP. Which she and Emma consulted (Emma was standing closest), and we figured out our route and where we were going. I could tell that she was a woman who might be kind of an odd duck if you met her at a party, but on that trail she was my guardian angel. I kept asking her if she was sure we were headed the right way, and she very soothingly asked me if it would make me feel better to look at the map. It would, and I did. I felt 50% better. When we got back on our route I was just ready to get the hell to the parking lot.

By the way, our detour was called Lost Man's Trail.

In reality we were fine the whole time. Lost Man's trail is a very pretty but strenuous detour that loops back to the road we were on. But I will never, never, never go skiing/hiking without a map again. I was so mad at myself for being so ill-prepared--I have a terrible sense of direction and get lost in people's houses ALL the time. People get hurt doing far less stupid things out in the snow. But I also know I wouldn't have been nearly as upset at being "lost" before I became a mom; all I wanted was to get home to her.

I called home as soon as we got reception. Anneke was just fine and had a fun day with Daddy. He said we should definitely head to the brewpub! Anneke was happy to see me, but not nearly as happy as I was to see her. All's well that ends well. And of course, I can't wait to go on another ski day with Diane and Emma.